Lying Often Vents Emnity

February 14. It's a good thing I remembered to buy a big bottle of extra strength Listerine (now in new Listerine Cool Mint Pocketpacks)

It's not for the mouthwash in case some ladies come over after I ate a good plate of fried fish with onions, no... although, it could happen. It's for that infernal taste in my mouth I get after barfing a lot. Celine Dion played for a hundreth time on the intercom and everybody else's MP3 collection gives me heartburn... And don't get me started on Mariah. And God sakes, Pussycat Dolls' "Stick Wit U" for playing on the radio 100 more times that usual.

At least we got over Michael Learns to Rock, Backstreet Boys, and the Jackson Five a long time ago, or I would have bought Listerine fortified with Windex. Seriously, we have got to tone down the lovefest this year. For my sake, I feel like an old prude inside when I see couples in PDA every 10 yards or so of walking. Trying to say "Sheesh, get a room" gets old after the first 50 times, you know.


The only Valentines event I like to indulge myself with is watching remakes on TV about the St. Valentines Day massacre.

"All right ya luvboids... EAT HOT LEAD!! HA HA HA!! Sey hello ta my li'l friend!"

I wonder how the Mafia gave Valentine's gifts...

"Martha, I can't give ya much today, so here's a horse's head to put under the sheets next time your hubby comes home late."

That and of course sleeping... provided that there are considerate people that don't play Barry White all night and they have the foresight to pad their walls so the neighbors won't wake up to the sounds of creaking beds banging on walls.