Slakluster (In fri Inglish)

I turnd 22 lst Saturdai.

I nevr saw birtdai numba 22 until it hit mi rite in da faes. Las saturdai, I had an epifani. Kolej was not wurking for mi. Da yirs spent to achiv ekselens and gradwait wid hiy prestij having Universiti of da Filipins in my diploma ar ol wasted awai. I mai hav da opshun to kwit kolej oltogether.

Da big trend nou is to be ekselent at evryting. Ekselens in mat, inglish, sosyal sayens, sayens, histori. Even kids are tot to be da bes at evryting dey do. Parents can be so kruel somtyms. We fayl most of da tym, and we are diskurajd to fayl, implaying dat faylyur is not an opshun wen da tym coms wen u gro up, not nowing dat faylyur is also de graytest titsur for layf.

So I started fri speeking. It is a eksepshonaly gud way to sho faylur and ignorans as wel a veri enjoyabl . Fri speeking or in dis kays fri riting is my eskayp from tyms long pas. Fri riting is eesyur dan beeing konstraynd by ruls of wans naytiv tung. Mos peepul may konsider dis tsayldlyk but tink abawt it, the Filipinos kriated txtspich, and gayspeek, and God forbid conyotika. Awr kultur defaysd Inglish and Filipino so I defays it tu, oldo it may luk wird to reed, dis is veri understandabl wen spoken awt lawd.

Iv been doowing tis for sam tym now, but I konfes, der ar som disadvantajes. First of ol, it feels wird to tayp in deliberaytly mispeld words. And it is a hasl to tayp in fri speek speshyaly in a QWERTY kybord.

Aldo it is fun to send memos and leturs in fri speek and get replys saying
"Ur som kind of wirdo or wako ar u?"
or my favorit...
"RETARD"

Da kul ting is, nomater wat form of riting u praktis in, kurs words are stil desaym. Just meener and more funy dan insulting. Fok U man!

I did not insult u, I tink its a Chaynees Restorant.