Takes a better man
Normally, I post here after purging all negative emotions by fragging the crap out of digital targets. But today, I write with a heavy burden on my shoulder.
I've shuffled my rear end through most of my college years, without thinking about quitting school to pursue work. I've taken most of my subjects twice and passed them by removals. I've set so low standards that all I ask for is to graduate. I didn't dream of being top draft pick at job fairs. I'm not into the fru-fru graduation celebrations. I just want a diploma.
But I assess this situation today in dark glasses. My stay in UP has effectively doubled since I can't pass calculus. Big deal, right? My family has a big deal with perfectionism, from cleaning to school. They passed college with flying colors, at least they say so. With their genes together, me and my siblings should be top class talent.
Not so, at least in my case. My brother is a writer, my sister a nurse. Come to think of it, they will probably have jobs before I do. Not that I'm pessimistic or anything, but I have too much self pride to be second banana to any of my family members. What am I good at? Cooking for one thing, but my kind of cooking won't exactly be "job sustaining" material.
I'm some sort of computer whiz, but I can't prove that since I can't pass Math, and every person I talk to demand that I have above par math skills...(Screw them, like clerical jobs require Advanced Calculus proficiency).
Frankly, I can't stand another two years in college. I'm old enough to be the teachers of most of my classmates, and it is psycologically draining to see that your rear is served to you by some young punk.
Yet I can't quit school. A. no one would hire a college drop-out no matter how good he/she is, B. I've gone too far into college to quit, C. My inner pride won't let me.
But I'm in danger of being dismissed. Dismissal = money wasted = additional money spending. And if you're here, I'd let you in on my parent's constant argument that "we don't have money". Yet they can afford buying a Home Entertainment center, a new wood cabinet at a moments whim. And if I'm dismissed, that would effectively make me what I hate most. A 22 year old bum living in his mom's house.
I could shoot myself dead, but since I have to repeat things twice to get it right, I'll probably miss at point blank range.
I've shuffled my rear end through most of my college years, without thinking about quitting school to pursue work. I've taken most of my subjects twice and passed them by removals. I've set so low standards that all I ask for is to graduate. I didn't dream of being top draft pick at job fairs. I'm not into the fru-fru graduation celebrations. I just want a diploma.
But I assess this situation today in dark glasses. My stay in UP has effectively doubled since I can't pass calculus. Big deal, right? My family has a big deal with perfectionism, from cleaning to school. They passed college with flying colors, at least they say so. With their genes together, me and my siblings should be top class talent.
Not so, at least in my case. My brother is a writer, my sister a nurse. Come to think of it, they will probably have jobs before I do. Not that I'm pessimistic or anything, but I have too much self pride to be second banana to any of my family members. What am I good at? Cooking for one thing, but my kind of cooking won't exactly be "job sustaining" material.
I'm some sort of computer whiz, but I can't prove that since I can't pass Math, and every person I talk to demand that I have above par math skills...(Screw them, like clerical jobs require Advanced Calculus proficiency).
Frankly, I can't stand another two years in college. I'm old enough to be the teachers of most of my classmates, and it is psycologically draining to see that your rear is served to you by some young punk.
Yet I can't quit school. A. no one would hire a college drop-out no matter how good he/she is, B. I've gone too far into college to quit, C. My inner pride won't let me.
But I'm in danger of being dismissed. Dismissal = money wasted = additional money spending. And if you're here, I'd let you in on my parent's constant argument that "we don't have money". Yet they can afford buying a Home Entertainment center, a new wood cabinet at a moments whim. And if I'm dismissed, that would effectively make me what I hate most. A 22 year old bum living in his mom's house.
I could shoot myself dead, but since I have to repeat things twice to get it right, I'll probably miss at point blank range.
by Ray Arvin Rimorin at 8/30/2005 12:07:00 PM
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