Bite your tongue and choke on it

If I wasn't a pushover, I would have said a lot of things that would get me smacked. Is it just me, or are we forgetting rules for the fun of it? No Smoking, means no smoking, at least in our language... in French, maybe it means yes smoking, no?

I don't really care how drop dead gorgeous you are (HALT! I do care!) but please, your killing me...

The smarty-pants in my psyche really wants to tell her the percentage of deaths by secondhand smoke
(35,000 - 40, 000). But I really don't do that anymore, my brother thinks I sound and look like Kim Peek (aka Rainman) when I do that.

Proper etiquette (Man, I hope I spelled that right) forbids you to blow smoke in stranger's faces. Big deal? Yeah, I'm asthmatic and the consequence is when I cough, it sounds like I got typhoid or something... or the dreaded medicol-calamine-viagra.

It's hard to bite your tongue, especially if you have the habit of throwing one-liners at every opportune moment. That is why I love the Internet. It keeps me anonymous an I can say what the heck I want! Choke on that you smoking *expletive* !

Memory allocation

Even if hits amount to zero, there is one thing I consider a great thing about blogging, and it came to me while watching my grandmother. My granny, just reached 92, and as far as I know is the oldest citizen of my barangay. She's reached the age where she has reverse amnesia. Vivid are the memories of her childhood, she even remembers her long dead friends and her neighbors too. Yet she forgets her recent past. She even forgot my name.

It is critical for us to save our memories. I can't do the photographical way to do this, since all of our photographs were ... dissolved and is unrecoverable. But there is this way of saving my personality and thoughts.

In a few years (hopefully, the Internet isn't dead by the time I have kids... HA! Me kids?) I'll look back to this blog and see how idiotic I really am, or in foresight, how great a philosophical thinker I've could have been.

I regret the fact that I don't have writings I... wrote when I was young. It would have been interestng what was flowing through my young and unadulterated mind. All I think about now are geek vices... I can't really trust those who administered my early works. They are after all adults and have biased thoughts. Great are the minds of the young... so intuitive and such fresh outlooks on life... [sigh]

I fear forgetting... I fear losing the only sacred thing left in my otherwise rotting soul... my memories... Don't let them die... please...

Theory of variable time flux

My theory is, that the amount of slacktime you have defines the number of things you can do to let it pass...

The more time you have, the less things you can do. Conversely, the less time you have, the more things you HAVE to do. The human socio-verse's concept of time management revolves arounf this time. Projects (usually rush) are due right after an extremely short vacation. Classes (usually boring) take looooong periods to reach finality.

Don't believe me? During blackouts, most of your time you are facing into the cieling for hours... but only minutes passed by. And in my part of the pueblo, blackouts last from 9-5.

Long quizzes that last for one hour feels like one minute long. When I go to an internet shop, one hour of surfing costs P20... I can only afford up to 1 1/2 hours. I chuck up the P30 and leave feeling I've only surfed for half an hour.

Time is a cruel mistress. This semester is full of time-to-activity fluxes. Most of the time, I've got nothing to do for 7 hours max between meetings everyday. If profs give assignments, the timeframe is one day for work that needs at least a week.

That theory also goes for sleeping. The eve of an important day is long sleepless night. The eve of a boring day is a short peaceful nap.

And it goes for eating too! An awful meal takes ages to chew and is in prodiguous amounts. A great meal is a saucer big and takes seconds to gulp down.

Alas, it's an unescapable fact we have to live by. A cornucopia of paradoxes in time we have to weather day in day out.

Paging Dr. Phil

I was reading though people's blogs and it struck me (actually a paperback dropped on my head). Then something else struck me... The saddest and probably most depressing insights about life popped up on my screen. The Internet is filled with people who need Prozac. Actually, all my complaining and ass-poking fails in comparison with their meloncholia. Dr. Phil would have a hey-day when he reads them.

I have but one advice to a particular group of people... the Under 30 depressed and done-with-life...

How are you going to get to 40? My parents always (well, not always) said to me never to take the trials and tribulations of life lying down. (I could be paraphrasing) These are just tests at your/my age. I'm 21 and I'm probably speaking out of my league, but if you mull over these problems, you'll just drive yourself to insanity.

There are more trials, like your first paycheck, your first income tax reform, your kids, male pattern baldness, menopause, and the acceptance of death.

Enjoy the years befor middle-age crisis... and if you really can't take it go to drphil.com

Hey, he maybe a TV shrink, but he got over being bald...

FOS Rocks!

Freedom of speech ROCKS! It pays to be a member (inactive as you are) of UP Baguio... In my limited experience in other universities and colleges, none compares to the tolerance of UP in walkouts. The halting only lasted for half-a-day, but it was sort of a walk-out... But hey, they DID give in... sort of.

Other institutions may revoke the ideals of the little man, but not here! Speak out without any inhibitions! Scream, yell, use megaphones while doing previous two, just don't crap in the garden... That said, there are a lot of rallies and protests lately. I bet my bottom dollar that there are a few attendees (largely because of the deadly fear of Menudo-caldereta-bopis disease here).

On a less happysounding note... I realized firsthand how chivalry is dead for another reason. The damsels in distress are pretty ungrateful, and ye downtrodden peasants are useless in combat.

What I'm trying to say is, that yesterday I chased a cellphone-snatcher in a parking lot. The burly drivers who can probably run faster than I can just stood there. (They could have blocked the snatcher's path, but seeing a bloated fatty running was probably more interesting)

Response from damsel-sans-cellphone after recieving said gadget... uhhhhh...

Yep, the response would have been "My hero" if there were knives and bullets involved, but heck I'm not complaining, the police caught the guy, I chased him to them...

That said, I'm still gonna risk my neck for any call of duty. I'm an oldschool guy in a new world after all. Chivalry isn't dead. It's rusting quietly.

Meningo-whatty-whatzits

Meningococcemia: I'm no doctor, and I wish I play one on TV... but could any medical personnel clear me up on this? I can't cough in public without everybody automatically repelling like magnets on steroids.

As far as I'm concerned and as far as my medical knowledge would take me, it's a localized case of hives...

Anyway, while I was surfing (well away from tourists and hypochondriacs), I found out that Meningo-callaba-hoopla was already prevalent in the US and commonly appeared as an epidemic during the annual hajj.

I say it's a plot to create another racial divide among my people... or even more sinister... a cover-up for the Luisita situation

http://www.mb.com.ph/MAIN2004111822725.html

Yeah! Hey, ever wonder... things like these happens when a woman is on the presidential chair?

(SMACK! Ouch!)

Back to my point... Meningo-happala-hubbub is the new cliche... but to be frank, it's a better alterntive than the new set of novelty songs that popped up out of nowhere. At least the people are concerned with health....

It be not right!

If I ever get a chance, I'd break-away from common ideals starting from cliches...

I've had it about up to here (here being the upper knot of my forehead) with people mangling a language that is basically unmangable. I've heard "heller" too many times now, that I fear the Filipino's ace of speaking fluent English is fast becoming a myth.

Actually, I've been hearing that shouted in my ear while in a jitney. My normal range of frequencies just dropped a couple of Hz due to the ringing in my ears. Are public access TV stations trying to make a version of "Where's the beef?" here? C'mon! We've all outlived a lot of their feeble efforts of putting a new slang word in the dictionary. To prove a piont, their catchphrases ever survive the prerequisite one-year lifespan to make it into a dictionary....

Where was I... Mass media in my beloved country is slowly degrading the intellect of my people. I say set my people free! Stop showing semi-naked people in noontime TV!

(tough words from a guy who watches fully naked women in cable TV)

Put those airbags away, there are children watching! God, I wish Sesame Street was back...

Board to death

I'm not really an athletic person. The primitive side of my brain dictates that I must like sports. Of course the artistic side of my cortex dictates that exercise must be artful. Being a guy, I normally follow the caveman living in my right cortex... but I must be insane then, cause I chose social dancing...

I'd want to take the path of least resistance like everybody else. Any sport with prodiguous amount of sweating automatically gets disregarded. Who would have known dancing the rumba/salsa would have me lubricated with sweat all day?

Anyway, most of my non-productive time is spent on THUG2... playing through storymode was easy-peasy, the classic mode is kinda tough, considering the size of the levels. If I can get my hands off the pad for a while, maybe I can prototype an interactive yearbook for our batch...

But considering that I'm not graduating yet... okay, I won't gradaute for another year... I'll focus on another ICPC competition. I vow not to graduate until we're in the top ten!!

That said, I'll practice my two step shuffle...

Below Par

I'm a hard-to-please consumer. Underwear must fit snugly, but not too tight as to restrict the next generation. Canned foods must taste like canned food, but not like tin cans, or solder. Further more, broadband connections must be as fast as competitors in the same building. This, is one of my recent pet peeves. I go to an internet shop, and it is closed. I can handle that. So I go to another internet shop... and the connection there is horrible! My old dial-up service suddenly felt like a F1 sports car. False advertising is very common in my part of town. Merely saying you've got 512Kbps ADSL doesn't really perk-up my download sense. Really, if you got 512 running on a lousy network and 233Mhz PC makes it not worthwhile. Oh, and my favorite, clean public bathrooms with logs floating in the urinal. That's a sight I've seen many a time, believe me that isn't a pretty sight. And the thing is I saw it happen... in transit... if you will. Actually, my favorite advertisment is the Magic-burger. The display is tantalizing, with full thick patty and all imaginable legal things to put on said burger... Here's the catch. you only get half of everything. They pushed the whole filling toward the case to make it look thicker, so the other half is ketchup and bun. I've got to hand it to them, it was a magic burger...

Quickie1

Quickly before I forget:
Why didn't I see my classmates in the competition?

Hey guys?! You're a heck-a-lot more versed on the beige-box than I am. Besides, there a lot of nice looking female contestants this time around. I'd like to see a lot more of you competing/winning at whatever league you join.

And, should you fail at that, let's shoot AT something, then shoot something DOWN our gullet. Drinks are on me!

Soul cleaning

When your down, shoot.
Bullets are a good way to let out steam. I went to the firing range and yelled out all of my frustrations on a P30 piece of cardboard with a target and eight pellets. God, I wish I could draw the faces of all the people I have represssed anger on.

There is something about guns that ease the mind of a male, even if it's air powered. It's like morphine. Of course P30 per soul-purging is a bit heavy everytime I'm depressed. WAIT! Let me rephrase that... P700 per soul-purging is a bit heavy... The ride from Baguio to Manila is P335 + ride to mall is P30 + miscellaneous items...

If I ever want to forget stuff, there is a cheaper way... sort of. I CAN wait for Halo2, Half-Life2 and World-of-Warcraft to hit stores... I'm not much into Ragnarok anyways... I'm getting pretty sick and tired of people giving me free Juno CD's. All I do is use them as coasters, and mind you, there aren't many cups in my house.

Before I forget, our team lost... again (expecting new isn't one of my good points) I plan to extend my stay at college just to compete again, and see more birds. And if that doesn't work, I'll invite my friends for hardcore paintball. Soul-purification + Friend creaming = relief...

Behold.. the evil eater of souls

My granddaddy always sez "Never trust a machine to do your dirty work"...
Who ever thought the old coot was right (alright, my grand-anything relationship wasn't all that fancy). A soda dispenser ate my money... probably the first time a machine ever backed-up on me...

Okay, there was the time Win98 froze up... my entire hard-drive was wiped on many occasions... the time my iron burned a hole through the back of my shirt... Fine! Technology bites big wind

But why am I whining... It's only P20... It's not like I blew 500... Anyway, I just found out that Blogger has HTML formatting. I'll try to redesign the blog once I start/finish the CSS formatting I'm cooking up. That's one helluva snag though. Classes are about to start an I'm wasting oodles of time vegging out.

While nearly busting my groin riding the MRT (Okay, I saddled a handrail) when I thought, a lot of stuff.

• What does a bus driver do to relax... does he sit down to rest, or stand up?
• If you jump while a train accelerates, where do you land?

and my personal favorite

• Why did I place my cellphone near the front of my pants?

Anyway I feel the chances of us winning a spot in the finals seem smaller than the piece of lard you find in a pork-and-beans can. That small. We practically slept (well, my partner did) through the practices... I can tell you this much, the girls at that University are hot! The kinds better left posed at a beach prone or supine... if you know what I mean... (tsk tsk tsk... sad little monkey)

I gotta stop this fantasizing... my pants are getting wet...

Identity Crisis

This day redefines pointless...
Common knowledge states that the last quarter of any game (that uses 15 minutes intervals for hotdog breaks) is the most competitive and where all improvements are made. Legendary plays happen at crunch time.

Crunch time is defined as the last moments of a major competition. We are at crunch time, but most of us are accessing Friendster...

Friendster = network.clog + minimum(productivity[]);

at least in our case. Call me pathetic and out of touch, but are we even sure who the damn person is? People ARE getting more and more proficient in photoshop... any ugly schmuck can alter their face to make them more appealing or even make their picture resemble a convincing transvestite... On the upside, webcams are making a resurgence. Narcissists rejoice!

CHALLENGE: post yourself as a picture of a third-degree burn victim and let's see how many friends you'll get... come and think of it, try posting my picture... Plus points when the picture is bleeding or filled with pus and charred hair

Actually the shocking thing is that most of the guys here have hots for minors. (Closet pedophiles? Just pulling your leg guys). The punchline here is, what if they found out that the hot gals, were hot guys in cheap clothing...

Emergence of the photon

I would like to do two things before we formally start:
1: I'd like to welcome... myself to the community of anonymous blabbering persons of the Internet (ABPI)
2: I'd like to welcome y'all to the insights of... myself

Now that's over. I'm going to ICPC ACM at Manila and my brain is about to explode... literally... my hair's on fire. That would be impossible though, I'm bald.

Programming is a very enlightening experience. Myriad thoughts run though your mind while debugging. How does a duck know, what direction south is? I'm in my Crash Test Dummies era lately. Digging around in my PC brings out new/old files that seem interesting now after fermentation.

Anyway, at our practices, the deafening silence brings out facets of human frailty and well, primitive personal politics. People say the weirdest things when stuck in immense silence. Sometimes, what they say or murmur in our case is involuntary and interesting.

Normally, I'm not concerned about the issues of others, especially when transmitted in whisper mode. But hey, I've got ears, why not use them? Eavesdropping can be a form of intrusive and generally covert way of entertainment for me, if not for the backfires.

I'm the type of guy that has conflicting consciences. Never contented to agree with one side of an issue, I argue with myself a lot. Mind you, not the conventional way of self arguing, but a physical, verbal and loud form of arguing. Seeing a contradictory version of my friends affects me deeply. It gives me diarrhea, emotional diarrhea. The type of irregular virtual bowel movement that feels like the morning after a marathon drinking contest. Hell.

Great, I'm rambling... that's what you get when you don't get enough sleep. For now, I dream of an Alienware mobile laptop... I've been doing most of my work on a 10 year old PC. Actually, I don't know how old it is... When did they make a 233 MHz PC?

I'll cut this right now. I've just suffered a major self-realization about self-revelation...